Hand In Hand

PH | ABDI & JANIS

I have officially passed one month of being a student in Bali, yet, so many things have happened. People coming, people leaving, adjusting situations and surroundings, new hopes, heartbreaks, paradigm shifts, new habits, and the list goes on. 

On Monday, my class started at 1 pm, thus a few people and I decided to go to the beach in the morning. Only four us went for the early drive. Bayu suggested going to Balangan Beach, which is about 20-30 minutes from my place. As we arrive, we went to the top of the cliff and saw a spectacular view. The waves crashing into each other, giving and receiving rage. After a few minutes of getting awed, our legs and hands started itching for salt water, so we ran off towards the rocky beach. Since the waves were very high and the tides have gone crazy, we weren’t allowed to swim. But I walked towards the sea and have its water splash my lower body to wake me up. “Welcome to our new habitat,” that’s what my friend said as we looked over the big, blue ocean. I am very excited and scared of getting to know the wondrous ocean better.

Out of nowhere, a Japanese guy with a surfboard came floating by the shore. He was waving his hands at ease, thus our thought of him waving to his friend. A few waves later, he shouted help and then we knew. We asked the locals to help him, because us students aren’t familiar with the waves at Balangan. As the surfer got to the beach, Damar helped him to figure out what he needed. We head back to our places at 9 am, since a few friends had their class at 10.30 am. As I got back, my legs and butt cheeks were still covered with sand, and I’d like that to happen now and then. 

I don’t get how the heart works. It functions not in the way I wanted it to function. It confuses me, and I sometimes I wish I didn’t have any feelings and emotions towards everything. It messes my mind when I hear a certain song and it reminds me of a certain memory, or a person. Or when my group of friends starts to laugh like the world is ours, and a few seconds later, I’ll realise this moment will pass easily. Or when people starts being too nice, and tension starts building between those two people. But it really isn’t building, at least in one of them. And when you get happy when a friend is happy. Those little things make me feel vulnerable, and again, makes me wish I didn’t have any of them. However, of course what makes a person alive are the feelings and emotions that fills up the room. I am currently writing this in front of my room, with most of the people at home asleep, feeling easily forgotten and useless. But I’m not. I’m trying to convince myself that I am not easily forgotten, for people I both know and don’t know still remember me and acknowledge my existence. I’m also trying to convince myself that everything I do is in God’s hands, and all I need to do is just go with it.

My current playlist consist of:

1. Like A Fool - Keira Knightley

2. Coming Up Roses - Keira Knightley

3. Glass In The Park - Alex Turner

4. Flashlight - Jessie J

5. Beach - San Cisco

6. We Spent Too Much Time Together - San Cisco