recently,

Hi. It's been a while. I can't believe we're over halfway through the year. If 2025 was what i described as a rollercoaster, I think just the first half of 2026 is an extension of that said rollercoaster.

It has been overwhelming. Both in a positive and negative way. I travelled a lot, with planes, boats, and cars… I went to Raja Ampat for the first time, stepped on Lombok and Sumbawa and went diving there, and went to Sri Lanka and gave a presentation at the biggest shark and ray (and chimaeras) conference globally… I’ve also been managing a whole lot of administrative work for our upcoming project andj ust day-to-day work operations. Administrative work has been something i've always dreaded doing but I know it's the key to my work running smoothly… But I hired a part-time finance and administration staff, and she’s been helping out a lot of the things at work, for me and my team. But the biggest thing that happened this first half of the year was that I learned a lot (maybe too much, to be honest) about people and relationships. 

This first half of the year, a lot of relationship have challenged my understanding of the relationship itself, but also about myself, in terms of how the role I have played in these relationships. These lessons weren’t easy because there were people I never expected whom I had to cut off and put walls around. I had to shift my mindset and question everything I thought I knew about the relationship, thinking everything that happened didn’t matter, and reconsidering whether people I thought were trustworthy were ever really trustworthy or not. But people change, and friendships fade. But that doesn’t necessarily mean what has happened didn’t mean anything. The cycle of that person’s just ended. It’s time to outgrow..  But there were also people I unexpectedly have found comfort in.

I find it interesting how, at my age, age gaps are just gaps and I can have friends across multiple ages. My friends’ four-year-old daughter is closer to me than I am with my long-distance neice and nephews by blood, and I find joy in hanging out with her and her mama. My girl friends, all in their early and late thirties, who I go to the gym with are always pushing me to face my limits, while still enjoying a great time. My previous neighbour (and future housemate), who is 12 years older than me, listens to the problems of a girl in her late twenties and I get to tune in on the wisdom he’s accumulated over the years. A dear friend who is old enough to be my mum founds comfort in my company and mine in hers, and we exchange desserts we’ve made at home.

I've also taken a step back for a bit and quitely observed (and been involved in, unwillingly) complicated situations, to a point where I've decided to keep a lot of things more to myself instead of sharing too much. Oh, the irony of saying that while I'm jotting this down to publish for the internet. But it's come to my attention that people assume, and people envy, and people can have bad intentions, and so it's best to keep it private and only share what is secure. This is still in practice… I have the tendency to overshare and show people outside of my core circle what they shouldn’t know about me. I just want to exist in the present, take care of my core circle and the people magneted to my core, and shout it into the world when things are in place. While I am in control of what people see about me, I am also in control of what I see about other people. So I’ve muted social media of those I no longer find value in, avoided unecessary meetings with people I am limiting my involvement with, and limiting any topics that requires me to think of people I no longer want to think about. I need to protect the energy I surround myself with, and at this point, it looks like this is the way to do it.

Energy is precious. I joined the Women Emerging expedition, and the last bit of the 4Es was ‘Energy’. Energy is what ties in your core Essence, Elements and Experience all together. And so it must be protected, from those who is envy and those who has bad intentions.

I have no idea where this writing is going. I started writing this on the boat to Manta Point, and only finishing it at home. I was thinking of putting this as a reel on Instagram, but I’ve been on my creative writing streak lately and what I’m currently feeling sounds more like a written post than a video.

Cheers.