The Value of 26

Inspired by Gabi Mulder's alphabet birthday post, I would like to do the same thing... But for New Years, just because I couldn't finish this list on my birthday. All pictures taken by Lomography Sprocket Rocked, with a Lomo Colour Negative 400 ISO 35mm & expired Kodak Porta 800 film, unless stated otherwise.


Animals
I’ve always been an animal person, sometimes talking to them as if they’re actually listening and understanding me. I feel like I have an overload amount of compassion for animals, especially dogs and seals and otters and cats and whale sharks and... the list could go on forever.




Books
I'm a book worm, let me tell you that. I've been reading thick novels since I was in the 3rd grade, and I joined a book club where we would discuss the book we finished reading. The library at school was the place I hung out at, and if I were to get a detention, I would choose to sort books at the library rather than doing the kitchen dishes. I am still a traditionalist, I like paperback books instead of kindle or e-books. At my age now, I am enjoying a lot of Haruki Murakami (I used to read Pretty Little Liars a lot), but I still like Harry Potter or The Hunger Games too.



Concerts
The only things I did during my junior high school days were school, dancing and going to concerts. It was the time I realised how lightweight and free it was to jump accordingly (or non-accordingly) to beats while your favourite artist is singing live in front of you. It was the time I realised the blood pumping adrenaline of rushing and squeezing between people to get right in front of the stage was something I needed. Concerts are my way of letting go bottled up steam. A quote that is exactly how I feel during concerts, "Whenever I go to concerts, midway through I just stand there in the crowd and I'm like... Fuck, man. This is happy. This is what happy feels like."



Documenting
My life is revolved around documenting, in all types of media. Up until now, I still keep letters and photographs from my primary days. I am just that obsessed with documenting and how it can bring strong memories. The stories behind the documents is what I live for.



Exploration
I see myself as an explorer. I like to know things and go beyond than what people see. I like to escape from the group and walk around a new place by myself. Getting lost in a place you've never been to before is quite the feeling. And there's no such feeling as it. As you grow older, you don't get to explore a place as often as you did when you were younger. And with that, I'd like to quote a feeling Tavi Gevinson made me feel too, "Exploring [Salvation Mountain] made me feel like a kid, which is a rare and sacred thing when you are no longer one and can't figure out why you can't just LIKE stuff the way you used to".



Food
Who doesn’t love the glorious object of food, eh? It’s amazing how food can not only fulfil the hunger of our stomachs, but also the integration between cultures and people. You want to go meet someone new, you take them for food. You want to create a gathering, you do it over food. You want to express your emotion, you do it over food. "After a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one's own relations." - Oscar Wilde. Food is a unity instrument. My favourite type of food is definitely Indonesian and Chinese food, without a doubt.



Giving
"She was a taker. You need a giver" - Queenie, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them
"Give, but give until it hurts" - Mother Theresa
I really like to give, sometimes without asking for something in return. Most of the times, actually. It's something you just do, in order to be kind. It's something you give without thinking whether you should, or shouldn't do. It's something you do by heart. An example of true giver for me, would be Joey Tribbiani.


Home
Home changes, it usually is where the people I love are. But the physical being of a place itself, is also a home. The smell of the old wooden furnitures, the sound of the wind knocking on the loose windows, the cold tiles of the kitchen floor, the switch to turn on the water machine, and those little details you always seem to remember, but has a hard time expressing it.


Taken with Trista's Olympus Superzoom 70
Ied al-Fitr’
I love all sorts of celebrations, but Ied al-Fitr’ is definitely my favourite. The vibe of giving, hugs, kisses and reconnecting with long-related families and friends, and oh the glorious amount of food… I always get excited for Ied al-Fitr’. Always have, and always will.



Journals
I remember calling my mum when I was in the 3rd grade, and asking her to buy me a diary… or a journal, as I call it now. She came home with a brown-yellow ish notebook and gave it to me as a diary. I was rather disappointed because it didn’t came with a lock, but nonetheless I used it anyway. And I still keep journaling until now, mostly about strong experiences. Probably not as often, but definitely more serious and more feEeEeElings.



Kisses
The art of kissing, wherever. The cheeks, the forehead, the eyes, the nose, the lips, the ears, the shoulders, the back, the hands, the arms, the thighs… wherever. The beautiful, beautiful form of both romantic and platonic relationships. The exotic form of intimacy. The most innocent act of caring.



Learn
I will always, always, always love to learn, anything and in any sort of ways. It's how I expand my mind and experience more experiences. "Don't let your learning lead to knowledge. Let your learning lead to action" and that is what I'm trying to gain.



Movies
I grew up in a world of movies. My dad works in the film industry, so watching movies was and still is and will always be a big part of my life. I love how movies can tell stories of the things we want to know about, or even the things we wish we could feel. I love how movies can bring up people's expectations, and how certain people can adhere to a certain movie so much, it has become a standard of behaviour. I also love how movies can be an important part of the self-love regime, where movies are basically a visual form of relaxation to enjoy after a long, long day.


Taken with an iPhone with the application Huji
Nighttime
I enjoy nighttime. I like how the nighttime can not only store stories, but can also tell them too. I like how the nighttime make people more vulnerable, including honest. There's this different vibe when you make connections with people and yourself during the nighttime, especially when it's under the mystical moon (probably because during nighttime our moon-sign self is at its strongest). It's more intimate, more honest, more... vulnerable. Vulnerability at its best.



Ocean
The ocean keeps me grounded, but it always pushes me to go as far as I can. It is literally the source of life, since we gain 70% of our oxygen from the ocean. It acts as both a separator and unifier of everything that can be separated and can be unified. It is a home to some people, and an enemy to the other. It is the place to pour out all of my feelings into the universe, and hope the universe listens. It is what people make it to be. And I hope they don't destroy the oceans more like they already have now.



Planning
I am a planning geek. I use many types of planning medias, including Google Calendar and a handwritten planner. I love forming travel itineraries and making schedule and rundowns. Planning gives me the excitement of a future event, and the uncertainty possibilities of those plans. And what's more exciting than being excited? But this quote basically shows my feelings toward plans: "I love making plans as much as I love staying at home from the cancelled plan".


Quotes
I think I've put some quotes on these paragraphs. Still though, I'm going to put down some more of my favourites:
"Be kind, and good will come to you"

"You'll need coffee shops and sunsets and road trips. Airplanes and passports and new songs and old songs, but more than anything else. You will need other people and you will need to be that other person to someone else, a living, breathing, screaming invitation to believe in better things" - Jamie Tworkowski

"and Allah [SWT] is the best of planner" - Qur'an 8:30



Pictures taken with a film camera from rookiemag.com
RookieMag
I have been obsessed with magazines, but RookieMag was my first e-mag and I'm still obsessed with it. The content Tavi have in her magazine is exactly what teenage girls world wide need. It's not all about how to put your face on, or how to talk to our crush, but it's also about how to be our own boss, how to see things from a different perspective, and how to thrift shop. RookieMag is now closed, and it has played a huge part of my life, especially helping me in expressing those annoying teenage angst. RookieMag really has been the greater inspiration for me during my creative process, all of them. I feel like RookieMag has given so much experiences and perspectives, and it has shaped the mindset and behaviour I apply today. So thank you, Rookie.



Self Care
I always think I'm never giving myself self-care credit enough. But self-care doesn't have to be big, so I guess my skin care regime, and morning routine is enough. But at times, those big self care moments is needed, and for me that's to explore and travel... Anywhere. Everywhere. Self care is really important. It's one of those things you underestimate, but you actually desperately need it. Self care can influence how you see others and how you see the world. A quote on self-care that I really live by is, "I am going to make a very beautiful life for myself no matter what it takes". 



Tickets
Like planning, tickets give me the excitement of experiencing something new. Whether it's a concert, a flight, an amusement park, or just as small as a movie ticket, I am always excited at what I'm about to experience.


Uncertainty
As much as I love planning, I always make space for the uncertainty. The What Ifs, the possibilities, the opportunities, the changes. As they say: "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans" - John Lennon.


Vulnerability
I'll tell you a secret. Scorpios (me) want to look strong on the outside, but is actually very vulnerable on the inside. And I think vulnerability is what makes us humans. The ability to feel hurt and say that we're hurt, or that we're missing someone so bad, is something I think is beautiful. I think once you've accepted the fact that you're vulnerable, as a person, you're giving a chance for love to come into your life. Because for me, there will always be love waiting for you, once you accepted the fact of your vulnerability. Does this makes sense? No? Okay, I'll just leave you with (another, ugh) quote by Tavi "I think that when you make yourself vulnerable, the thing that you do next is better. It's not like you have to inflict pain on yourself in order to make yourself better, but I think it helps. The thing that bonds you to a new friend isn't that you went to a fun party; it's cause you had a really weird, sad conversation".



Taken from the internet
Whale Sharks
They are my favourite ocean creatures ever!!! (with seals coming in second place). These big, mystical, elegant creatures swims through our crooked oceans and it's beautiful how they can be very sweet and friendly at the same time. However, it's sickening how people can still hunt whale sharks for them to consume when whale sharks are clearly listed as Endangered on IUCN, and in Indonesia itself, is protected by law. I just hope these big creatures don't decrease even more than it is already now.



X(Sc)eneries
I know it's forcing scenery with an X, but I couldn't find another word. I love sceneries, landscapes. It makes me feel small



Yellow
I think it's safe to say yellow is one of my favourite shades, besides blue. It brings joy and colour into the room, and I like to think the warmth and happiness in it represents me (even though I know I'm not that warm or 24/7 happy).



Taken from the internet
Zelda
I know how tragic her story seems to be, but she was the life of the party during the 1920s, the flapper era. Every time I hear the name Zelda, it reminds me of being carefree, charismatic, and witty. The first time I fell in love with Zelda was when I watched Midnight in Paris (2011), a movie that showed Paris during the 1920s. Zelda was stunning and daring as usual, with Scott trying to keep her as grounded as possible. I dream to be as carefree, charismatic and witty as she did, but a little bit more responsible... I think? A quote from the women herself, "She quietly expected great things to happen to her, and no doubt that’s one of the reasons why they did." - Zelda F., The Collected Writings of Zelda Fitzgerald.


Extra values:
Taken from the internet
26
This Paramore song talks about having no hope, or holding on to it if you've got it. It talks about how people will bring you down, and how hard it is to find the power to go back up. I think the song is very beautiful, it's very honest, and if I listen to this song with a broken heart, a hopeless self, or a burnt out self, I will - without a doubt - cry immediately as the lyrics "Man, you really know how to get someone down" starts. I can do a whole analysis and how this song makes me feel here, but I'll spare you that. Just watch this video, and when Hayley cries as she sings this song just brought me to tears.


I hope 2019 gets to be the year where you matter, where you prove yourself, where you grow, where you change. I hope 2019 does good things to you and leaves you in a space where you come to think, "How did my life get to be this amazing? I am beyond grateful". I hope 2019 brings positive changes, and possibly a little heartbreak too. We need a bit of heartbreaks here and there anyway. I hope what you list down in your bucket list gets to be ticked off, and I hope you get to love and be loved in return, equally.

Happy New Year, my loves.

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